


and being apart ain't easy on this love affair

by Swag_1_Fam_a_Lam



Category: Men's Hockey RPF
Genre: Angst, Fluff, M/M, Misunderstandings, Pining, Unrequited Love, Weddings, bed sharing, but not really
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-24
Updated: 2019-07-24
Packaged: 2020-07-17 10:10:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,438
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19951573
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Swag_1_Fam_a_Lam/pseuds/Swag_1_Fam_a_Lam
Summary: “Jake?” He calls out, the other man still the bathroom.“Yeah?” Jake pops his head around the bathroom door, a fluffy white towel wrapped around his neck and another in his hand.“Who’s the other person we’re rooming with, the girl on the desk said four.”“Oh, yeah, I forgot to say. Matty said Sean’s single he’s shoved him in with us, everyone else is more or less paired off.”Ah, of course. Sean.Sean, who he hasn’t spoken to since the Bruins let him walk, since he signed with Calgary. Sean, who’d broken off the friends with benefits deal they had going over text without so much of a ‘I'll miss you’. Danton had managed up until this point to completely block that name from his memory - more or less successfully.





	and being apart ain't easy on this love affair

**Author's Note:**

> For the anon on tumblr who asked for: Danton/Sean at a wedding, this is for you love, hope you like it!
> 
> I had lots of fun googling pictures of these guys in suits, I do recommend that experience. Also I originally had Noel moving to the Jets, I had to go through and change everything to Florida but I think I’m happier that way.
> 
> Unbeta'd
> 
> Cheers!

When he signed with the Flames a year ago Danton had known that he was going to end up left out of some of the news in the Bruins locker room. Sure they would keep him updated as best they could, but he was with a different team now, there was no way it would be the same. There were always going to be surprises when it came to the lives of his old teammates.

It was hockey, surprises were basically the norm.

But he hadn’t expected, although perhaps he should have, the wedding invitation that had landed on his doorstep over halfway through the season. Or more specifically  _ who  _ the wedding invite was from: after all there were plenty of guys on the team with long term serious girlfriends who could get married.

Matt and Noel though, he hadn’t seen coming, at least not any time soon. They’d been together for as long as Danton could remember being on the Bruins, even in Providence. Back in the AHL they’d been the couple the rest of them had aspired to be like; solid, best friends and very much in love.

But last off season when he went to the Flames, Noel signed with Florida and okay, it’s not the biggest distance he’d ever heard of, but he just doesn’t get the logic of getting  _ married  _ when you live in completely different states. He’s happy for them though, ecstatic even, and hey, the wedding’s in Hawaii so it’s not like attending is any hardship.

And anyway, he’s pretty sure Matt would castrate him if he didn’t turn up and Danton’s too fond of his balls to let that happen.

He flies in straight from Calgary; once the front office had said they were free for the rest of the summer he’d been gone, already packed with the ticket bookmarked on his phone. It’s a direct flight and he sleeps most of the way, too tired to do much more than stagger off the plane when it lands, blinded by the sun. It’d been late morning when he’d left Canada and cloudy to boot, so it hadn’t even crossed his mind that maybe he’d need sunglasses.

It’s not as bright as he goes through security, but even in the air conditioned airport the heat is almost overwhelming and he’s more than overdressed in his jeans and a light jacket.

By the time he has his baggage and is setting off for the airport exit, the beginnings of a headache has formed near his temples and his shirt is starting to stick to his back.

He’s thankful, at least, that he doesn’t have to make his own way to the hotel. He’d received a mostly coherent text from Charlie before his flight had left, saying that he and Jake had a rental and they’d give him a lift. It’s probably for the best, with his flight addled brain he’d have more than likely ended up on the other side of the island.

When he makes it out onto the parking lot out the front of the airport, it doesn’t take him long to spot his two ex-teammates.

He sees Jake’s shirt before he actually clocks the mans face, being as lurid pink and covered in flowers as it is. It stands out even against the saturated color of the Hawaiian sky, and Charlies admittedly pretty garish green, pineapple studded shirt. Both are wearing cargo shorts - khaki thankfully, and canvas shoes. For young guys they certainly exude excessive ‘dad’ energy, but he's also seen worse from rookies in the AHL.

“Heino!” Jake shouts at him, and Danton has to shield his eyes as he makes his way across the tarmac to them. If anyone asked, he would say it’s because of the sun, and truly it is bright out, just not quite as bright as Jake's shirt. 

Jake wraps him in a bear hug when he reaches them, and Charlie's grinning at him over Jake’s shoulder. It’s stupidly good to see them.

The last game between the Flames and the Bruins had been back in February, and there’d been little time to catch up then. The Flames had been fighting their way into a playoff spot, and the Bruins had been on the tail end of a back to back road trip but they’d agreed to meet up again later in the season. But then the end of the season came, and the off season happened and nothing ever got organised. 

“How have you two been?” He asks when Jake releases him. They both look well rested and tanned, a reflection he supposes, on the shortness of the Bruins post season. 

“It’s been great yeah,” Jake grabs Danton’s suitcase from him, and sets off into the lot, “We spent the first half of the summer with Charlie’s family over in New York, after the wedding we’ll be visiting mine.” 

Jake and Charlie had danced around each other for all of their first season in the NHL, and then most of their second too. It’d been excruciatingly painful watching them pine after one another, and he’s pretty sure Torey had run a betting pool on when they’d get together. In the end they’d been halfway through the playoffs when Charlie had caved and asked Jake on a date - and Danton’s pretty sure Brandon had won the money for being the closest time wise. He’s pleased to see that in the year he’s been with the Flames their relationship has remained strong, they deserved it. 

“What about you Dany? Been able to relax much yet?”

Danton huffs a laugh and shakes his head, “We were literally told we were free yesterday, first thing I did was get the flight here.”

“You must be beat then eh?”

“I had a nap on the plane,” He assures them as they come to a stop behind a small red car, “I’ll be fine for the rest of the afternoon.”

“Better be, there’s a party this evening at one of the bars on the beachfront, can’t miss that.” Jake claps him on the shoulder before loading Danton’s suitcase into the trunk. Charlie calls shotgun, so he slides into the cramped back seat, squeezing his legs into the tiny foot well.

The rental car, he finds out quickly enough, has no a.c. or at least not one that’s working. Danton knows how much these guys get paid each year, and he’s a little surprised they didn’t shell out of something a little more technologically advanced - or at the very least not broken. He sits in the back, practically melting, for the short drive to the hotel whilst Jake and Charlie chatter endlessly about what the other guys have been doing with their off season.

He’s seen the instagram posts of course; Brad and his wife vacationing somewhere in Europe, Brandon with his dogs back in Colorado. He’s also liked endless photos of Wags playing golf and drinking hipster looking craft beers and Backes made a point of sending them all pictures of the dogs at the shelters he volunteers at in the summer. There’s somethings though, that instagram can’t show.

Torey’s little girl’s first words were apparently ‘Mama’ and ‘Ho-kee’ and 'No'. Marchy’s dog had had an infection that meant it had spent three nights at the vets undergoing intensive treatment, but he had pulled through in the end. Connor and Anders had brought every single person on the roster a bouquet of flowers for Valentine's Day, and then had taken Coyle out for lunch that weekend for no other reason than apparently: ‘If they had to pick a man’.

It’s nice to hear about everyone, learn about all that he’d missed even if it only highlighted how he wasn’t a part of the team anymore. He did his best to push those thoughts to the back of his mind - they weren’t going to ruin the next few days for him, he wouldn’t let them.

The hotel isn’t far from the airport, and he can see a small car park out front when they approach it . The building is a pale cream color, it stands out against the blue of the sky and the hundreds of vibrant green palm trees that surround it. Even from inside the car he can make out the vague shape of a swimming pool, and beyond that a small strip of white sand that led out to the sea. 

“Woah.” He breathes out, he’s stayed in many hotels in his time, it’s just part of professional hockey, but none of them have been as stunning as this.

“Yeah,” Charlie agrees stepping out of the car, “Pretty nice huh? And we don’t have to pay a thing.”

“They’re millionaires,” Danton and Jake join him, blinking against the assault of the sunlight, “It’s not like they can’t afford it.”

“Not like we can’t afford it either.” Jake adds as an afterthought,”Especially old money bags here.”

Charlie protests when Jake throws his arm around him, but it’s fond and he quickly settles into the other man’s side as they make their way towards the hotel. The chirping, no matter how weak, is familiar and Danton can’t help but relax a little, feeling some of the tension drain from his shoulders. 

The lobby is as nice as the exterior of the hotel, decorated in clean cut neutrals with warm brown stone flooring and an abundance of plants stashed in every available nook and cranny. The receptionist gives them a welcoming smile as they make their way up to the front desk.

“Hello, welcome to the Grand Waikiki! Can I help?”

“Yeah, we’re here for the uh,” Charlie hesitates, “Acciari-Grzelcyk? Grzelcyk-Acciari? I don’t know, the wedding, the one with the two guys with the Boston accents, quite short - both of them. Probably grossly in love or something.”

The receptionist giggles softly, tapping away on her keyboard as she peers at the screen, “The Acciari-Grzelcyk Wedding? Of course, can I take your names?”

Charlie tells her, and she enters a couple more things into the computer before selecting a couple of key cards from an open box to her left. She frowns suddenly, manicured nails frozen against the keys, “Oh, there appears to have been a room change for the four of you. You’ve been put in one of our doubles instead of two separates, is that okay?”

She gives them an apologetic smile, and Danton’s too tired to care about the rooms if he’s honest, so nods when Charlie looks at him questioningly. 

“That’s not a problem.” 

With a relieved look, she slides the key cards across the counter, “Here we go Sir, room 609. Through the double doors, there’s an elevator on your right, sixth floor.”

  
  
  
  
  


“So do you know who’s here already?” Danton inquires, watching as Jake fiddles with the keycard.

“Pretty sure Noelie and Gryz are dealing with the families and stuff,” Charlie explains as they make their way into the room, “I know Wags arrived earlier this morning, oh and I think Frank - Vatrano that is - and Brandon are here already too .”

“Who else is coming?” Danton asks, dumping his stuff by the foot of one of the beds. As the receptionist had said, there’s two double beds but even with them taking up most of the space, the room is massive. Windows span the length of the far wall, and there’s a large wooden table shoved in one of the corners. 

“Most of us younger guys. Pretty sure Z and Marchy are coming just for the wedding so they’ll fly in tomorrow evening.” 

“Any of Noels new teammates?” 

“Uh huh,” Jake ventures into the bathroom, “Pretty sure I saw MacKenzie Weegar in the lobby when we checked in earlier.”

Danton frowns, “Isn’t he the guy Noel beat the shit out of that one time?”

“Twice actually,” Jake corrects

“Not to be like, that person,” Charlie interrupts from where he’s already sprawled over the double bed, “But what’s the point in getting married when you’re still living across the country from each other?”

“It’s only three hours.” Jake rebuts. 

“Yeah, by  _ plane _ , but they’re going to be married and won’t be able to see each other that much. That’s gotta suck.”

“Who knows man, they’re happy though so that’s what matters I guess.” Charlie seems to take his words at face value, and Danton takes advantage of the silence that follows to close his eyes for a second.

The Flames have only been on off season for a week or two, and he can still feel the exhaustion deep in his bones. He’d been looking forward to the wedding, as much as he hates formal events, and the chance to see two of the best people he knows finally tie the knot wasn’t something he was going to pass up. And anyway, it’s not like a trip to Hawaii was ever going to be a hardship.

He mentally thanks Noel and Matt for being  _ that  _ couple that decides to go somewhere warm and tropical for their wedding, he’d never gotten the appeal before now. 

He sinks down into the clean, cool sheets of the double bed when he’s struck with the sudden realization that the receptionist had said the  _ four  _ of them. Jake and Charlie would share a double bed, that much was a given, and Danton didn’t mind having a bed-mate for a couple of nights. The question was exactly who was he going to be sharing with. 

“Jake?” He calls out, the other man still the bathroom.

“Yeah?” Jake pops his head around the bathroom door, a fluffy white towel wrapped around his neck and another in his hand.

“Who’s the other person we’re rooming with, the girl on the desk said four.”

“Oh, yeah, I forgot to say. Matty said Sean’s single he’s shoved him in with us, everyone else is more or less paired off.”

Ah, of course.  _ Sean _ .

_ Sean _ , who he hasn’t spoken to since the Bruins let him walk, since he signed with Calgary.  _ Sean,  _ who’d broken off the friends with benefits deal they had going over text without so much of a ‘I'll miss you’. Danton had managed up until this point to completely block that name from his memory - more or less successfully.

Something must show on his face, panic maybe, because Charlie immediately sits up and turns to him with a stricken expression.

“Shit, I forgot that you two aren’t…” Danton can feel the blush creep up onto his cheeks at the words, so they knew at least something about what happened between him and Sean. He wonders if Sean told them, or if maybe they really were as obvious as they had suspected.

“It’s fine,” He says aiming to placate Charlie, “It’s only a few days.”

Judging by the deepening concern on Charlie’s face he was not successful.

“But Matty and Noel worked out who was sharing with who themselves, and they know more-” Charlie cuts himself off, “I don’t know why they’d put you two together.”

“It’s fine,” Danton says, but he doesn’t really mean it, he’s imagined what would happen when he and Sean met again, but the realistic versions of those had never ended well. The more fantastical renditions had been exactly that - fantasies. “We haven’t spoken since I walked, but we’re both adults.”

Charlie looks dubious, but gives in after a glance at Jake who, completely out of Danton’s sight, must have pulled some kind of face.

“If you say so man.” 

“I do,” He asserts,”I do.”

And that's the end of that.

  
  
  
  
  


He gets the time to shower before they leave for the bar, and he takes too much time just standing under the spray contemplating the wall.

Him and Sean have always been complicated, at least in hindsight. At the time it felt like the simplest thing in Danton's life, a steady constant that he could rely on even when everything else was flipped upside down.

They were never together as such, although sometimes it felt that way. When Sean would take him to lunch after practices he would wonder if this was the kind of thing Sean would do with his actual dates. After games, mostly the wins but sometimes the losses, Danton wold be dragged to Sean's apartment and they would drink and fuck and drink some more. Sean stocked inordinate amounts of beer in his fridge, but Danton had always been more of a wine guy, so eventually there had always been a cheap bottle of red stashed somewhere in the flat.

But it wasn’t dating, not even close really, it was just sex. Something they’d started doing back in Providence when they were stll young and dumb enough to think it was a good idea. He knows now that it wasn’t, has known for years, but that never stopped him. Also, he has a suspicion that they were drunk out of their minds the first few times.

A phrase always catches in his head when he thinks about it too hard: once is a mistake, twice a pattern, three times a habit, no matter how drunk you may be. It’s more accurate than he’d like to admit.

And sure it hadn’t been dating, still the sex had been good - really good. Danton had had his fair share of hookups in his time, but somehow it had been different with Sean. Just better in a way that he couldn’t explain, and didn’t really want to. They'd got it down to an exact science by the end of that first season in Providence, but it never felt boring.

Not to mention, they’d never explicitly told the team, but he’s pretty sure it was as much of a secret as Matt and Noel had been back then, that is to say - not much of one at all. Of course in the end Matt and Noel had told everyone on the team, and then when they’d been called up they told everyone there too. Him and Sean had never breathed a work to anybody.

Now Noel and Matt were getting married, and Sean and him were nothing. Funny how that worked.

It’s been a year though, Danton’s over it, he can share a bed with the guy, no problem. 

It’ll be fine, he’s sure of it. 

The evening air is warm as they walk down to the bar from the hotel, following the instructions Noel had texted them. The path is well lit, and the beach is so close they can even hear the waves crashing against the shoreline.

The bar itself overlooks the sea, with massive patio doors which lead out into a private strip of beach decorated with fairy lights and lanterns. Plenty of people are out there already, drinks in hand. Danton doesn’t recognize most of them, but the large white sign saying ‘Congratulation Noel and Matt’ hanging above the door suggests it’s definitely the right place. 

As they walk in, a pretty woman who could honestly be related to either Matt or Noel, throws a blue and white lei over his neck with a pearly smile. Charlie gets a yellow and white one whilst Jake is assaulted with a neon green and pink abomination that matches his shirt.

They barely make it beyond the lei woman when they’re stopped by someone calling Charlie’s name.

Chris Wagner is wearing normal clothes, a blue polo and cream chinos, which Danton's eyes thank him for it, although he doesn’t doubt that there’s a hideous Hawaiian shirt buried somewhere in his wardrobe too.

“It’s good to see you boys!” Wags says when he squeezes through the crowd towards them, “Thought I’d be surrounded by people with hideous accents the whole evening, and that’s just the ones from Boston.”

“You’re from Boston, that’s literally your accent.” Charlie says with a frown and Chris throws his arms around him.

“Walpole actually mate, it’s different.”

“You’re so full of shit.” Jake shoves him away, and Chris, already a few drinks in, almost bowls someone over.

Wags is right though, it is good to see them all. Danton’s spent the last year in Calgary, halfway across the continent and it’s been strange not having the constant contact with the boys. There’s the group chat sure, but it’s not the same as being face to face in the locker room, and Danton misses it, misses them. 

Calgary’s great for sure, but it’s not Boston.

  
  
  


Charlie sends him up to the bar to get shots after it becomes clear that beer is not doing the job fast enough.

“Noelie said in his text that if we had to get blackout drunk at some point this week he’d prefer it to be today and not at the reception,” He explains as he slaps a couple of twenty dollar bills into Danton’s hands, “So we’re doing shots, shots and more shots tonight!”

Danton’s not sure why he’s the one being sent up to get the drinks, but he doesn’t argue the point. He’s almost at the bar when a guy muscles past him, and Danton’s not drunk - he’s not - and the guy isn’t really that much bigger than him, but he almost goes flying.

Someone places a hand on his back to steady him, and he whips around to see who it is and freezes. He knows that face, knows it better than his own even, considering the long hours he’d spent watching it whilst he’d been in Boston.

Sean looks good, tanned and a little windswept, golden hair as untidily elegant as Danton remembers. He’s, like Wagner, wearing a blue polo shirt that brings out the color of his eyes and light tan chinos. Dany doesn’t know when hockey players attire became so predictable, but he’s also never seen it look so good. God damn Sean and his unnatural ability to look hot in just about anything.

“Careful there,” Sean tells him, “Don’t go falling over, how much have you had to drink already?”

It’s only slightly embarrassing that the answer is a beer or two, “We only got here a little while ago, I haven’t had much.”

“Right,” Sean shuffles on the spot, “So uh, how are you doing, it’s been a while.”

It’s been more than a while if they’re talking actual interaction, after all staring at each other from across the ice was hardly a conversation. Danton decides not to say this to his face, “Not too bad yeah, uh, what about you?”

“Pretty good, enjoying the time off I guess yeah.” The awkward silence is almost painful in its intensity, and Danton’s not used to feeling this way around Sean. Even after the first time they’d fucked, hungover to hell and late to practice, they’d still had an easy rhythm around each other, not this stilted half conversation.

“Kurls! Heino!” They’re shaken from the quiet by a very tipsy Matt, who appears from nowhere. He’s beaming from ear to ear as he pulls them in for a tight three way hug, “I’m so glad you’re both here,” 

“Aww, did ya miss us Matty?” Danton says as Matt releases them.

“Of course! You ghosted us for ages Dany, barely talked to you all year,” He then turns to Sean and frowns at him, “Where you been hiding him,Kurls?”

Sean chokes on air and his face turns very red as he splutters in response, “I haven’t been hiding anyone, he’s been in Calgary.”

“Riiiiiiiiight,” Matt slurs, leaning on Danton's arm.

“You’re not wearing a lei.” Sean remarks to dispel the tense silence that Matt’s too drunk to notice. He wrinkles his nose and looks down at his lei-less chest. 

“Wags tried to spring a horrid yellow and green one on me, I think he gave it to Noelie instead.” He brushes a finger over one of the flowers on Sean’s lei, “They’re pretty though.”

Sean considers the neon yellow and pink flowers that adorn his neck and pulls a face, Danton is suddenly grateful for the more tasteful coloring of his own lei. 

“Alright Matty,” Sean says, looping his arm through Matt’s, “Where’s your fiance? I haven’t had time to see him yet.”

Matt's eyes actually light up like they’re in some kind of romance novel, and if it wasn’t quite so adorable Danton might have felt jealous.

“I think I saw him over with my brother, let’s go find him.” Matt leads Sean away with one last toothy smile at Danton and he lets out a large breath he hadn’t even known he’d been holding in. 

He leans against the bar-top and the bartender raises an eyebrow. “Long story?”

“Something like that.” He replies bitterly, “What’s the strongest drink you have?”

The bartender makes him an ungodly concoction of something using several bottles that Danton doesn’t recognize. It tastes like battery acid.

It’s only when he’s drunk half the glass that he remembers what Charlie sent him up here for. He orders the round of shots and drains the rest of his drink. He takes the tray of shot glass back to the table, sliding it in front of Charlie as he reclaims his seat.

“That took you forever.” Jake complains as he reaches out to grab a glass.

“Long queue.” He lies, “I’m gonna go back and grab myself something else, I’ll be back soon.”

He doesn’t go back, not that any of them would notice, as drunk as they’re planning to get. Danton’s not sure what the etiquette is at pre-wedding parties, but he’s seen Gryz out on a Saturday night before and he’s not sure whatever Charlie and Jake are going to get up to could be worse than that.

He skips out after an hour or so, too shaken by seeing Sean to do anything much but sit at the bar and track the other man around the room. It wouldn’t be too hard given his height and distinctive blonde hair, but even without that Danton's always been able to find him in a crowd. Back then they called it a superpower, now it seems more like a curse.

Chris catches him as he makes his way to the door, curious as to why he was leaving so early. Danton writes it off as jet lag, and either he looks terrible or Chris is a lot drunker than he looks because he accepts it without complaint, wandering off towards the bar, patting his shoulder once as he goes.

Danton’s checking his phone for texts half in half out of bed, when the hotel door opens and Sean steps in. They stare at each other, frozen in place.

“Uh,” Danton says intelligently.

“Charlie did say he told you I’d be sharing with you lot right?” Sean questions, and Danton finds it within himself to nod. Sean nods back awkwardly, closing the door behind him with a click.

Danton watches as he moves across the room towards where he’d dumped his bag on the floor at the end of the bed and start to rifle through it. 

“Did you and Matt find Noel?” He eventually manages to choke out. Sean pauses and looks at him for a moment, before returning back to where he’s looking through his bag.

“Yeah yeah, they’re like, totally sickening man, I almost caught a cavity.”

“Ah, Noel’s good then? I didn’t get a chance to catch up with him.”

“Yeah he’s great, real excited, you know how it is.”

“Good, good, that’s good.” He trails off, not sure what to say next. Sean disappears into the bathroom with his toothbrush and a set of pajamas in hand, leaving Danton staring in his wake. He puts the phone down on the bedside table, sinks down into the pillows and closes his eyes, hoping that when Sean comes out he’ll think he’s asleep. It’s a stupid notion, Sean won’t be in there long enough to believe it, but Danton’s always been an optimistic guy.

He hears Sean when he pads back into the room, and he has to physically force himself to stay relaxed, making sure his breathing remains slow and calm. There’s a click as the lights are turned off, and he keeps very still as Sean slides into the other side of the bed.

It shouldn’t be awkward, Danton’s supposed to asleep for god's sake, but it is anyway. There’s a familiarity to it, they used to sleep in the same bed often when he was still in Boston, wrapped around each other under the sheets. 

The distance now is foreign.

Only when Sean’s breathes even out completely does he feel his body relax fully. As he feels himself fall asleep he hopes, prays even, that he won’t wake up having migrated across the bed to cuddle with Sean in his sleep. That’s not a situation he thinks he’ll be able to explain away.

  
  


Danton wakes up to the sound of puke and pained groaning from the general direction of the bathroom. He rolls over onto his side, and sees Sean watching him from the other side of the bed, thank god for that. No errant snuggles in the middle of the night then.

He opens his mouth to talk, stumbles over his words, then shuts it again, tearing his gaze away from the other man’s eyes when he hears another retching noise.

“Which one?” He asks.

“Pretty sure Jake had one too many fruity cocktails, they may look pretty but the bartenders don’t go light on the vodka.”

“Great,” Danton says, rolling back onto his back just to avoid looking at Sean, “He’s going to be a delight today then.”

“You mean to say you don’t enjoy a pissed off, hungover Jake?”

“Fuck off,” He mumbles, burying his face half into his pillow, “Let me sleep.” 

“We have a breakfast to attend,” Sean tells him checking his watch with a chuckle, “In about, half an hour? So uh, might want to drag yourself out of bed.”

Danton shoves his middle finger in the vague direction of Sean’s voice, the laughter just gets harder because Sean’s a dick who revels in Danton’s pain.

He does get up though, haphazardly pulling on some clothes and foregoing the bathroom in favor of quickly finger combing his hair and getting the hell out of the room so he doesn’t have to listen to Jake retch anymore. 

Sean’s already gone ahead without him, so he heads down to the hotel dining area alone, taking a moment to settle himself. He spots Sean immediately after he enters the room, already eating and talking to someone obscured from Danton’s sight. He loads up his plates with sausages, bacon and toast and goes to sit, against his better judgement, over with Sean. It’s Noel who Sean had been talking to, also with a very full plate of food, hockey players like to eat after all. 

“Hey man,” Noel says to him when he sits down, “Looking good there.”

“I swear I didn’t drink that much yesterday,” He groans, “Don’t even have a headache, I just look like shit.”

Noel laughs and Sean pats him on the shoulder with a commiserating smile, “Don’t worry man, it looks good on you.”

Danton has, well, he has no fucking idea what Sean means by that, so he nods and tucks into the food. Sean doesn’t seem too bothered, turning back to Noel and continuing with whatever they have been talking about before Danton had arrived. 

He’s just finished his toast when someone slumps into the seat opposite him, and Danton has to look up from his sausage to see who it is. Jake looks...frankly terrible, although the sunglasses perched on his nose covers up the worst of things.

“Ugh.” Jake says.

“Only douchebags wear sunglasses inside.” Sean says between sips of orange juice, looking far too smug for someone who has ketchup smeared at the side of his mouth. 

“Fugh.” Jake says back, flipping the blond the bird. 

“Love you too,” Is all Sean says back in reply, but his smirk grows wider.

“Leave him be, he’s obviously feeling delicate.” Noel chirps. Jake looks like he’s going to make an attempt at a comeback, but he’s stopped by Charlie coming over and placing a plate in front of him. It’s piled high with eggs, bacon and beans, the sauce of which sloshes close to the plates edge. Jake moans at the sight, which causes Charlie to blush pink, and digs right in.

“You know Noelie, you’re very calm for someone who’s getting married tomorrow.” Sean remarks through a mouthful of bacon.

“I’m marrying the love of my life, why would I be nervous,” Noel says grimacing as a bit of grease drips down Sean’s chin onto his plate. Danton hates he finds it kind of endearing.

Sean fake pukes into his breakfast, and he can’t stop the grin from spreading across his face. Upon seeing his reaction, Sean winks at him over Noels head and Danton hastily looks down at his food, blushing. 

“That’s stupidly sweet you big sap.” Charlie says, and Noel just shrugs and shovels in some eggs. Danton follows his lead and resolutely does not look at Sean.

“Yeah no one would expect a man with biceps this big to say something as cute as that.” Sean adds wrapping one hand around Noels arm, “Bigger than my head.”

Noel carefully extracts his arm from Sean’s grip, “Why do I put up with you?”

“Because I’m the best liney you’ve ever had? Because I’m super good looking and funny? Because I make great pancakes?”

Frankly Danton is hard pressed to find anything he disagrees with there, and apparently so does Noel because he just says, “Yeah but you’re a fucking asshole too.”

Which is also true. 

Sean opens his mouth to argue, and Danton, sensing that this could end up going on much longer than need be, interrupts, “So what’s the plan for today, we need to do anything?”

“You’re all free this afternoon to do whatever, so go, I don’t know, get drunk by the beach or something.” Noel tells them, then he turns to Jake, “Try not to give yourself alcohol poisoning this time.”

Jake glares at him from over his breakfast, but doesn’t actually stop shovelling in food long enough to speak.

“You should come with us, bring Matty. Have a good old hockey boys afternoon.” Sean offers, and Noel makes a wry expression at him as he finishes his food.

“Got some last minute wedding planning stuff to do, if we can get away from that then for sure.”

“Sounds like fun.” 

“Yeah sure,” Noel says miserably, “If you like flower arrangements, seating plans and discussing whether there should be flower petals on the aisle.”

“Come on,” Charlie says with a wide grin, “Lets go have some fun.”

They’d spent the rest of the morning, and a good portion of the afternoon, recovering from the night before. Breakfast had helped, but Jake had still looked like a ghost with some sort of fatal disease even afterwards. 

Brandon had eventually crashed their hotel room, Wags at his side, and demanded they come out and enjoy the Hawaiian weather and beach bars. It hadn’t taken much convincing. 

They run into Noel and Matt on the way out, talking to a couple of guys that Danton recognizes, but can’t quite put a name to.

“Hey love birds,” Sean yells over to them, “We’re going out for a wild afternoon on the town, you guys in?”

“Give us a minute,” Matt had yelled back, “Then sure.”

A couple of the non Bruins players tag along with them. Vatrano Danton knows from Boston, and Tanev he recognizes from Winnipeg, and he’s pretty sure the guy played with Noel in college. Even with everyone who comes out, somehow he finds himself stuck next to Sean and really, it’s just not fair how this keeps on happening.

They find a bar on the beachfront, and they order a round of beers. There’s no space in the seating area, so they traipse out to the beach, and settle down around a couple of old beach chairs.

“Shit,” Jake laments from where he’s sprawled in the sand, “I can’t believe you’re getting married.”

“Neither can I,” Matt says, grinning up at his fiance when Noel comes over from the bar, “But like, in a good way.”

“Better be.” Noel teases, and passes him a beer, “We’ve been together, what? Five years now? We figured we might as well.”

“That’s a long time,” Sean flops down next to Danton sending a spray of sand across his lap, “Hell I can barely keep a relationship for five months.”

And that hurts, it shouldn’t, after all they were never official and they never talked about it being anything more than a fuck buddy deal. But still, to hear Sean admit so flippantly that what they had been for over two years wasn’t even good enough to call a relationship? It stings.

Danton knows that it’s irrational, it’s not like Sean would admit outright that he had been in a relationship for two years and just never told anyone. But he can’t help but feel dumb, like an idiot for turning their deal into something it never was, even in the privacy of his own head.

He thinks Matt clocks the expression on his face before he’s able to mask the hurt with a calm neutrality he doesn’t really feel, but he doesn’t comment on it. Just takes a sip of his drink, and lets his gaze drift out to sea.

“How are you going to announce it to the league?” Sean asks, drawing Danton’s attention back to the conversation “Some big press conference or something? A live smooch before a game?”

Noel chokes on his cocktail with a laugh, and Matt thwacks him on the back with a dirty look.

“No. I’ve talked it over with the front office, the league will work it out when they see Acciari is back on the Bruins in number 48.”

“We decided the best route is just not to say anything officially and see how things go.” Noel adds.

“Have the front office said that they’ll let you change surname then?”

“We thought about hyphenating it, but they have enough problem spelling Grzelcyk alone as it is.”

“Cheers to having easy to spell names eh?” Sean grins downs at him, clinking his beer against Danton’s glass. His traitorous heart speeds up slightly, and he can feel his cheeks growing warm, but he manages to return the favor and mumble a ‘cheers’ in reply.

“What,” Noel says, “Would you hyphenate yours then? Kuraly-Heinen? Heinen-Kuraly?”

“Heinen-Kuraly sounds better, what do you think Dany?” Sean asks him, a serious look on his face.

“Uh yeah, Heinen-Kuraly, I guess.” He chokes out, cursing Noel for even bring it up.

For the rest of the afternoon Danton can’t pull the image from his mind, Sean in his Bruins jersey, Heinen-Kuraly across the back. It makes something pool in his gut, warm, heavy and possessive. 

It’s hard to remind himself that Sean’s not his, that he never was, and that he never will be.

The morning of the wedding dawns with little fanfare in their shared hotel room. Charlie and Jake are already awake and half out the door, heading out to grab something to eat before leaving for the ceremony.

Sean and Danton don’t speak as they take turns in the shower, and they get changed in near silence, the soft rustling of fabric the only noise. 

The suit he’s picked is nice, tailored to fit in a fancy shop that Sean of all people had dragged him into when he’d first been called up. It’s a rich blue shade, made in a lighter material so he doesn’t sweat to death, one of many he owns in the same color. They’re hockey players, there’s no end of well fitting suits in their wardrobes, but he’s always been partial to blue. 

He’d also gone with an orange tie, and if he could find them, a pair of cuff links that matched. 

“Hey,” Sean says unexpectedly, “Do you know how to tie a tie?”

From where he’s scrambling around in his suitcase for the box with his cuff links in, Danton nods, “Uh huh, you haven’t seen a little black box have you, it’s got my cuff links in and-”

“It’s on the table,” And when Danton turns to look, the small box is indeed sitting on the table, he goes to grab it but is stopped by Sean’s next words, “Can you help me?”

Danton blinks in surprise. It’s been a year since he left the Bruins, he’d have thought that at some point in that period of time they guy would have learnt how to tie a tie. It had been strange enough that he hadn’t known before then, let alone before that.

“You still don’t know how?”

Sean shrugs sheepishly, “I just bought a bunch of clip-ons, never had the time to learn.”

“You ever heard of Youtube?” He says, “Or google?”

Sean shoots him a dazzling smile as he picks up the tie from the bed, “Why would I use them when I have you?”

“Uh,” He mumbles dumbly, struck by the words, “Okay.”

If possible, Sean’s smile grows even wider as he crosses the room until he’s stood right in front of Danton. He’s too close, tie dangling loosely in his hand. It’s blue and matches his eyes perfectly. 

Danton sucks in a deep breath to steady himself, and takes it from him. He steadfastly keeps his gaze fixed on the tie as he wraps it around Sean's collar, but his eyes keep catching on the hollow of his throat. Danton remembers biting that exact spot, he also remembers the exact noise Sean made when he did so and colors at the memory.

He ties the tie the only way he knows how - a half windsor - and tightens it with slightly shaky hands. 

“There we go.” Danton whispers breathless from the weight of Sean’s gaze, not moving from his face. He steps back, and the distance between them is suffocating. 

The cufflinks remain in their box on the table, so he moves to grab them, ignoring how his hands tremble. He fumbles with a cuff link, and it falls to the floor with a dull thud. Swearing under his breath he bends down to pick it up, but finds that Sean down there with him. Paralyzed by their proximity all he can do is watch as Sean plucks it from the ground and roll it between his fingers thoughtfully, and finally Danton has to look him in the eyes.

“Let me help yeah?” Sean asks him softly, and Danton is helpless to do anything but nod.

He offers up one wrist, which Sean cups gently, running his thumb gently under the cuff of the sleeve. Danton shivers involuntarily and the hint of a smile twists up Sean’s mouth.

He looks up at him through his eyelashes several times, and still Danton can’t stop staring.

Sean takes his time pushing the cuff link through the hole and securing it, but he can feel every second as if they were an hour. When one cuff is secure, he offers the other without instruction, and Sean plucks it from his palm and threads it through.

Once he’s done, he doesn’t move back or push Danton away, doesn’t crack a joke or say anything. He just stands there, too close, eyes flickering from Danton’s mouth up to his eyes and for one crazy second he thinks he’s going to kiss him. 

Some crazy, insane part of Danton’s mind wishes he would.

He doesn’t.

“You two ready?” Charlie pokes his head round the hotel room door, and Danton, not expecting the interruption, jumps back in surprise. Sean, who really has no business being the cool calm one of the two of them, just grins and nods.

He fluffs his hair in the mirror over the desk, and goes to follow Charlie in the hallway, stopping just as he reaches the door. He turns to look at Danton, still stood in the same spot, and offers him a devastating smile.

“You coming Dany?”

Hearing that nickname coming from Sean makes his spine tingle in a way that it shouldn’t anymore, not now he’s had a year to get over him.

Sometimes Danton really hates Sean. It’s not fair that he can break things off, then come back a year later and still affect him just as bad. Because he’s not over him, the past few days have made that abundantly clear. 

He only hope that he can get through the next couple of days without anything like  _ that  _ happening again, because he’s not sure he could survive it. 

  
  
  


The ceremony venue looks stunning, and Danton can suddenly appreciate the draws of a beach wedding; a sky as blue as he’s ever seen it, and the sea, crystalline and clear as it reflects the sun’s rays. The main ceremony will take place on the beach; chairs and the aisle have already been set up, and older women in bright dresses and netted hats bustle around setting leaflets on the chairs.

The guest list is rather small, on account of both Matt and Noel sharing most of their friends, but Danton still doesn’t recognise many people in the throng of people milling about the beach. Against his better judgement, he sticks close to Sean, who picks his way through the crowd effortlessly.

Danton doesn’t realise where they’re headed until they get there; Matt is standing by the door into the reception building, and he smiles when they approach. He’s in a slate grey suit with a skinny navy tie and he’s bouncing on his toes - no last minute cold feet there then.

“I’m shocked, you two clean up well.” He says to them, “Did you finally learn how to tie your tie Kurls?”

“Nah,” Sean replies flippantly, “Dany did it for me.”

Matt’s eyebrows shoot upwards at that, and he pulls a face at Danton from where he’s hovering behind Sean, “Twenty something and still doesn’t know how to tie a tie.”

“Useless.” Danton agrees, and Sean pretends to be offended but looks more amused than anything else.

“I’m being bullied on your wedding day Matty, this is no fair.”

“It’s no less than you deserve making poor Dany tie your tie for you.”

“Well what was I going to do instead? Ask you or Noelie? Speaking of, where is your fiance?” Sean asks, craning his neck and searching the crowd around them, “I feel like I’m asking that a lot.”

“My mom took him away,” And although he’s sure Matt would deny it, he pouts, “Something about tradition and not seeing the ‘bride’.”

“What?” Danton says mystified, and the look on Matt’s face echoes the sentiment.

“I don’t know either man, we literally got ready together this morning, I’ve already seen him, I just want to get married you know.”

“Well,” Sean wraps an arm around Matt and pulls him close, “Have I got news for you.”

Matt laughs and pushes him off, “Fuck off you know what I mean.”

“Could have just eloped, would have been less hassle.”

“God no, our families would have killed us,” Matt shakes his head as he says it, “Speaking of family-”

A harried looking woman who might have been Noel’s mother but could also have maybe been Matt’s aunt comes up to them, and she wraps a hand around Matts elbow.

“Matt love, we’re about to get everyone to sit down, you ready to get married?” If possible, the smile on Matt’s face just gets wider.

“More than anything.” She gives him an indulgent look and turns to Danton and Sean.

“Bruins? We’re trying to sit you all together, there’s a couple of rows at the back of the seating for you all,” She pauses to consider her words, “We’re not trying to hide you all or anything but Noelie said-”

“It’s fine Ma’am,” Sean cuts in, smooth as butter with a charming smile to match, “We understand, we’ll go sit down.”

He tugs Danton away towards the beach, not without first mouthing a quick ‘good luck’ to Matt, who gives them a thumbs up.

“What a nerd.” Sean says as he drags Danton towards the back rows of seating, but it’s affectionate. 

Chris and Brandon are already there with their girlfriends, and he’s pretty sure he can see Z looming above the masses. 

There’s a flurry of movement as everyone moves to get seated, and Danton almost whacks into Brandon’s poor girlfriend as Sean drags him down into the chair next to him. 

Danton hasn’t been to a wedding since his second cousin got married when he was a teenager, so he’s not entirely sure how the whole things supposed to go. He remembers there being a lot more hymns and stuffy priests giving speeches, not the gentle background music and well dressed officiator that Matt and Noel have hired.

The two of them match, Noel’s navy suit and dark grey tie the opposite of Matt’s own. Danton’s never really given much thought to what his own wedding would be like, but he thinks maybe it would be a little like this. Calm, with someone beside him who he can barely keep his eyes off of.

It’s a nice image.

He manages to keep it together throughout the ceremony, although he does get choked up slightly when the officiator announces them husband and husband. There’s a lot of tears from the women on both sides, and he’s pretty sure several of the hockey guys also get a little misty eyed. He’s not going to judge, it’s an emotional occasion, if you can’t cry at a wedding when can you?

The reception is held at a beach club, in a room with an open wall right by the sea. Noel and Matt had, wisely, shoved all the hockey players around two tables near the back of the room. They’re closest to the opened wall, and Danton can feel the sea breeze tickle the back of his neck.

He ends up squashed between Sean and Charlie, but it’s not as awkward as he thought it would be, being on a table surrounded by ex teammates. Over plates of fancy seafood and salads they joke and laugh and it’s almost like nothing has changed at all.

He claps his way through numerous speeches; the best man, family members, the other best man, even Z says a few words about how much both Matt and Noel mean to the team, and what an honor it has been to see them get married. They’re kind of cringy in that sweet, cliche way that all wedding speeches are, but he sits through them a single minded focus as he tries to ignore the way Sean’s elbow presses against his own.

When the speeches are over and the cake is cut, someone puts on some cheesy pop music and the atmosphere slides into something more relaxed. Chris and his girlfriend move tables to go to talk to one of the players from Florida, and a girl, who looked only slightly younger than Danton, sits down in Wag’s vacated seat with a coy smile aimed at Sean. She’s pretty, wide blue eyes and perfectly curled blonde hair, and Danton’s seen this scene before; the flirting, the shy touches before eventually they’ll head to the dance floor. 

Before he’d have been fine to watch it happen, knowing that he’d be the one going home with Sean at the end of the night, now it’s just self preservation to excuse himself from the table before anything much happens.

He makes his way over the bar, ordering some horrifically expensive fruity cocktail and making sure to put it on Sean’s tab - the guy had to pay for the effect he had on Danton somehow. It’s obscenely green, with a rim of blue colored sugar and a little paper umbrella - ugly maybe but it tastes alcoholic enough to suit his needs.

It’s not, it turns out, but it does taste good enough that he downs the thing in a minute flat before ordering another. When the bartender returns with it, pink sugar this time, he turns outwards to watch what’s going on.

The tables in the middle of the room have been pushed out to the edge, creating a dance floor, and Danton’s not a wedding expert, but even he knows what this means. The first dance.

A small crowd has gathered around the dance floor, and Danton’s pretty sure he sees Wagner and Brandon dragging Matt and Noel out onto it. They’re both smiling though and their happiness is contagious, everyone is laughing and grinning with them.

The song that comes on over the speakers is slow, something from the 80’s he thinks, but not one he recognizes. 

He watches wistfully as Noel and Matt sway on the dance floor. Neither of them are dancers that much is clear, but the way Matt’s got his head pillowed on Noels chest as he lets the taller man spin then around is adorable. And suddenly, no matter how painful Sean has made the wedding for him, he’s so incredibly glad he got to see this.

“Cute aren’t they?” Someone says as they slide into the seat next to him. The guy’s about the same age as him, and good looking, although not Dantons type. Short, with a well structured face and copper colored hair cropped close to his head, the suit fits him like a glove though and he’s as far from Sean Kuraly as you can get, which helps.

“Yeah, they’ve always been adorable, sickening, but adorable.” They both watch for a moment, Noel whispers something into Matt’s ear that causes him to go pink and bury his face in the other man's neck. God Danton’s nowhere near drunk enough to deal with that level of cute.

“I don’t recognize you from the stag do,” Ginger guy tilts his head, “Either of them.”

“Ah, I wasn’t able to make it,” Danton tells him, and it’s true. The Flames had just been finishing off their playoff run with a resounding loss to the Avs, and he hadn’t been able to get away for the weekend. The Jets and the Bruins had both been knocked out in the first round, but the wedding had been scheduled for after the Stanley Cup Final anyway, just in case.

“Oh that’s unfortunate,” The guy takes a large gulp of his drink and nods awkwardly, Danton feels kind of sorry for him. He’s never been very good at making conversation with people who weren’t teammates, especially those who were flirting. Ginger doesn’t give up though.

“Which one are you here for?”

Danton peers over at the happy couple on the dancefloor, “Both, I played with them in Boston for a couple of years.”

“Oh a hockey player?” He turns more towards Danton, interest suddenly blooming on his face, “Where do you play now?”

“Calgary.”

“Oh Canada? I love Canada.” Ginger sets his glass down and offers his hand, “Want to dance? I’d like to hear more about Calgary.”

Danton’s about to answer when they’re interrupted by someone stealing his drink and throwing their arm around his shoulders. He knows immediately who it is without even looking.

Sean takes a sip of the cocktail and pulls a face at it whilst the guy frowns at him, “Have to say Dany, not your best choice in beverage.” He remarks, and Danton rolls his eyes.

“Yeah, that’s because I didn’t get it for you.”

“How do you drink this stuff? It’s disgusting,” Sean takes another sip and leans even closer throwing a grin at the other man, “You know what they say about a man who has bad taste in drinks.”

He even throws in a wink. Dany isn’t sure if he wants to kill him or kiss him, this feeling, he has rediscovered, is not an uncommon one when he’s around Sean.

“Do you know this guy?” Ginger says to Danton, his distaste obvious in both his tone of voice and face. It’s not, Danton thinks, a particularly nice face when it looks like that. 

“Unfortunately.” He deadpans at the same time as Sean exuberantly declares;

“We’re best friends me and Dany here! And if you don’t mind, I’m going to steal him away, he owes me a dance.”

“Actually-” Ginger starts, but Sean has already pulled Danton off his stool and taken his hand.

“Fantastic! Nice talking to you!”

He lets Sean take him away from the bar, trailing behind as they head towards the crowd on the dance floor. When they’re out of earshot of Ginger guy he tugs on his arm to get his attention and opens his mouth, “Really? You know what they say about men with bad taste in drinks?”

“He’s a ginger Dany,” Sean shakes his head sadly, “I didn’t have time to pull out my best repertoire before he stole your soul.”

“You’re an idiot, he wasn’t going to steal my soul.”

“You don’t know that, anyway, I saw him trying to get into one of the bridesmaids skirts earlier, you can do better for a dance partner.”

“And better means you huh?” He says, a bit miffed as Sean leads him into the crowd of dancing people. 

Sean turns to look at him and there’s a glint in his eye that sends shivers down his spine. He knows that look, saw it plenty of times before they split up, usually right before Sean would push him up against a wall and make him forget his own name.

“Maybe it is.” And the tone of his voice makes Danton’s toes curl. Low and maybe a little bit dangerous. 

Neither of them know how to dance, so they end up pressed against each other just swaying somewhat to the beat. Sean’s hand has settled on his waist, he can feel the heat of his palm through the thin fabric of his shirt, just like he can feel Sean’s thumb pressed gently again the pulse point in his wrist. Everywhere they touch he’s acutely aware of, and the distraction does nothing to help his dance skills.

He stumbles over his own feet, and he feels Sean laugh more than he hears it from where he’s ended up, head pillowed against his chest. 

“Still not a dancer huh?” Flushing, Danton lifts his head back up and the redness in his cheeks deepens when he catches sight of Sean’s smirk.

“Maybe I’m just pretending to be a bad dancer so I don’t embarrass you.”

“Nah,” He waves he idea off, “I know you Dany, you’re just a shitty dancer, that’s okay.”

His words rankle, they haven’t talked in almost a year, how can Sean say he knows him so well so flippantly?

“Maybe I’ve learnt to dance,” He protests, “It’s been a year, you don’t know.”

Sean snorts, “You haven’t, you hate dancing.”

“You’re very confident about that for someone who hasn’t spoken to me in a year, it’s almost like you care.” Sean freezes at his words, stopping dead still on the dance floor and Danton, not expecting it, almost flies into another couple.

“You think I don’t care?” And he has the audacity to sound hurt, as if Dany’s actually capable of that. It takes every ounce of self restraint not to laugh in his face. 

“You broke up with me then never called or texted again. Of course I thought you didn’t care.”

“You signed with the flames and I had to find out on  _ twitter _ .” Sean’s vice like grip on his wrist and his waist loosens and Danton takes a small step back to put some distance between them.

“I didn’t have a choice, the front office told me to walk because there wasn’t the space.”

“I don’t care that you left-” Sean says, and it’s like a shot to the heart. His expression crumbles and suddenly he wants to be anywhere but here.

He doesn’t wait to hear anymore, turning from the other man and pushing his way through the crowd. The tears in his eyes make it hard to see, but he manages to stumble out of the hall and onto the beach.

It’s quieter out here, everyone else inside enjoying the reception, and he can make his way out towards the ocean without interruption.

He’s an idiot when it comes to Sean, always has been and always will be, when it comes to the two of them he should really just stop having expectations. Because damn, he’s tired of having his heart stamped on every damn time they meet.

It’s pathetic, it really is. There’s no one else that turns his brain to mush like Sean does, who knows just what to say to cause him to short-circuit and freeze up. When they were fooling around it was fine, fun even, but now? Now Danton just wants to be able to get over him, doesn’t want to be stuck hung up on some guy who doesn’t want him, he wants, in that moment, to never have to see him again.

But Sean’s never known when to leave well enough alone, and so Danton’s not surprised when he hears his name called from behind him.

“Dany.”

He wishes he had never fallen in love with the bastard.

“It’s not fair.” He says before Sean can speak again, “You dumped me and didn’t talk to me for a whole year and yet even after all that you can still turn me into a fucking wreck.”

“I didn’t mean to-”

“You’d think I’d be over it, but no. You turn up looking like  _ that, _ ” He waves his hand in Sean’s general direction and takes a step away,, “And acting like nothing even happened. and then you tell me you don’t care that I left.I mean it might have just been sex to you but I thought we were at the least friends.”

“Shit, no, I didn’t mean it like that.” Sean reaches out to grab Dantons arm, stopping him from leaving, “Of course I cared that you left, shit Dany I miss you every fucking day.”

“Then why…”

“It’s not that you signed elsewhere, it happens it’s hockey. It’s that you didn’t tell me! I found out two days after you signed, how was I supposed to feel?”

And that’s…not something Dantons really thought about. He hadn’t told Sean, then again he hadn’t told anyone about it including his family, he hadn’t been sure how to. At the time it hadn’t seemed like a big deal, people would find out about it either way, to him who told them it hadn’t seemed like an important detail. It still doesn’t, plenty of hockey players don’t tell anyone about their trades until it’s over the news. None of them are good with words, the NHL network makes life a lot easier in that respect.

“Noel signed elsewhere and didn’t tell anybody, you didn’t care then.” He protests, it isn’t strictly true, he’s pretty sure Noel talked to Matt  _ before  _ he signed to Florida but that’s besides the point.

“It’s a bit fucking different.” 

“How! You know what, I don’t care anymore, I don’t want to hear it.” Danton wrenches his arm from Sean’s grip and without waiting for an answer he starts back towards the reception. 

“I’m not fucking in love with Noel am I?” 

And he’s stopped dead in his tracks. 

Here’s the thing, Danton has entertained the thought of Sean being in love with him and knows,  _ has known _ , that it’s not within the realm of impossibility. He’s not a teenage girl mooning over her first crush, of course he knows Sean could fall in love with him, Sean  _ could  _ also streak naked through the streets of Boston yelling about how much he loves pizza. Just because it could happen doesn’t mean it always will, that’s another thing he knows.

And every time Sean had emphasized the ‘casual’ aspect of their relationship the hope for something real had died a little bit more. He’s made peace with the fact that Sean didn’t love him

“You’re not in love with me.” He says in response and Sean’s expression crumples. 

“I thought you didn’t want to stay, I thought that I wasn’t good enough to even be told you were leaving so I figured I’d break up with you before you broke up with me.”

“We weren’t even dating.”

“I know, I know.” Sean runs a hand down his face, “At first I thought that casual would be better, easier to hide. But then I spent more time with you and god, you were funny, and good at hockey and I when you smiled I just wanted to slam you against a wall.”

Sean had actually done that several times, it’s always been a good memory.

“But it wasn’t just that, I also wanted to take you out, show you off, I mean hell, I even considering taking you to meet my family.”

“Why didn’t you?” He asks, quiet against the sounds of the sea.

“I was scared,” He shrugs, “The casual thing was going so well I didn’t want to ruin anything, and I was thinking, maybe...but then you signed with the Flames and I just figured-”

“That breaking up with me was the better option?”

“I never said it was smart.”

There’s something a little like hope rising in his chest, but there’s something else he has to know first, “So what’s changed? Why are you telling me this now?”

“I missed you. I thought I’d get over it, but months later I’d leave a game and turn only to find you weren’t there. I’d wake up and the bed was empty and I just,” He comes closer now, and Danton doesn’t move away, “I knew you were going to be here and I thought I might as well give it a try.”

Danton narrows his eyes, but he can feel the smile creeping onto his face, “Give what a try?”

“Aw, Dany come on, you’re gonna make me say it?” He doesn’t respond, just waits, “I don’t want to go back to what we were doing before, I know you’re in Calgary now but I want to do this properly, take you to dinner, hold your hand, buy you flowers, all that shit. And I get it if you don’t want to but I just had to try.”

“Okay.” He says. It’s a risk, he knows it. This is Sean he’s talking about, he won’t mean it, but chances are he’ll end up breaking Danton’s heart again, shatter it into a million pieces maybe not now, maybe not even this year, but at some point. He can’t bring himself to care.

“Okay?”

“Yeah, okay. Let’s do it.”

Sean’s face lights up, and he tugs him in and kisses him softly, just as good as before they broke up. It’s almost automatic when he opens his mouth in response to Sean running his tongue along the seam of his lips, a reflex to lean in closer and press for more. More, always more. And Sean just gives it to him, kisses him harder, deeper, until he can barely stand, let alone breathe. 

They fit together as well as they always have, a perfect match, and Danton can feel himself relax against Sean as they trade slow, open mouth kisses. Sean’s mouth has always been able to do things to his body, and he’s not been a monk by any stretch of the imagination but it’s been  _ months _ and god it feels good.

They break apart eventually, out of breath and dazed.

“You love me.” He says, still shocked, and Sean smiles down at him.

“I do.”

It’s not funny, and it’s not supposed to be, but Danton can’t help but break down in giggles at the words. Sean looks on bewildered as he laughs, arm still wrapped securely around his waist.

“I do,” Danton repeats, “You know, because we’re at a wedding?”

Finally Sean gets it, and a look of fond annoyance crosses his face as he shakes his head, “Speaking of, we should probably get back in there before someone misses us.”

“It’s fine, they’re here for Matty and Noel, not us.” Sean doesn’t look convinced, so Danton wraps his arms around his neck and draws him down for another kiss.

“Come on,” Sean tells him once they break apart, but his voice is gentle, “Let’s go find our friends, we’ve got plenty of time.”

And he’s right. They do. 

**Author's Note:**

> Also I’m pretty sure Noels biceps are actually bigger than my head, guy is YOKED
> 
> I’m into it
> 
> Title is from Journey's Faithfully, which is also the song I imagined as the first dance song 
> 
> I'm on tumblr, come say hi @keep-calm-and-bergeron
> 
> Comments and Kudos are adored!
> 
> Cheers!


End file.
